“I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3-4).
We all want to be winners, but as Jesus told his disciples in this scripture, to be the ultimate winner we have to be the biggest loser. Our lifelong goal should be to lose our pride, to be as prideless as a young child.
We spend the first part of our life building up our image of our self, trying to become secure in who we are. We do a lot of comparing ourselves to others and we aren’t happy unless we see ourselves as models of competency or better than most or everyone else. At some point in our life, and the sooner the better, we begin to mature and gain some level of self-acceptance, if not self-confidence, and recognize that “I am what He has made me.” At this point we tend to accept who we are and give up on the continual, fatiguing effort of puffing ourselves up. But yet, our ego will still make regular appearances when we feel like our rights or personhood are being degraded, offended, or violated. When you hear yourself saying things like “What does he think he’s doing? Who does she think she is? How could you?”, then your pridefulness is emerging.
Jesus tells us to deny our inmost self, our false self, which is the image we build up, that we manufacture and believe in. He says, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23) The cross we carry is to be used daily to crucify our false self, and allow the true self, which is Christ in us, to live. “For I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” (Galatians 2:20).
In denying ourselves we give ourselves to others. This is the act of humility, empowered by love of God and love of others. Humility is seen in our disposition, which is only visible in our words and our actions. Humility is surrendering ourselves for the sake of God and others. It rises in our self awareness and runs its race in our self regulation. And it receives its reward in God’s love.
Thomas Watson said that a humble Christian “studies his own infirmities, and another’s excellencies.” Do you ever stop and make an honest self assessment of your pride, ambition, and self-centeredness? Are you gracious enough to thoughtfully admire or praise someone else’s strengths, instead of being envious or critical?
The measure of your humility might be best detected when you are in conversation with someone who strongly expresses opinions or beliefs that are in opposition to your own, or whose ideas are accepted by others before you got to voice your great idea. How fast do you lose control of your composure or your tongue? How quickly does your humility evaporate? You may blurt out a retort, voicing your opposing opinion or idea, and curtly counter their argument with your views. Or, even if you are able to hold your tongue, your face may turn red, and you think about what you would like to say. In the moment of showing your constraint by not speaking, you may decide that you dislike this person, you may resolve that at the least you will avoid this topic with them in the future, or go as far as concluding that this person is no longer your friend. I know I have had every one of these responses in different situations. If like me, you experience any of these feelings or reactions, our humility is slipping and our pride is showing. Perhaps we need a belt and suspenders!
But it is better to deflate our own ego, then to continue to inflate it like a balloon until someone else bursts it, and we plunge dramatically to the earth. “For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” (Matthew 23:12).
As long as pride lives in our heart, our love of ourself will outdo our desire to love others. Humility abides in us when we put others above and before ourselves because we see Jesus in every one of them.
In and through Christ,
Doug